A Series of Bizarre Events…..aka My Lunch with Gangsters

So. Yeah. That just happened.

This is confusing, so stick with me.

I have an on site work meeting for a project that starts tomorrow. I get done with the meeting and since I’m not far from my church, I swing by to drop something off for the Pastor. I think to myself, “Hey, the Taco Bell is only like two blocks away and I like really bad mexican fast food. I’ll eat there and take a break for a few minutes.”

I go inside and I notice that there are two scruffy looking white artist guys milling around, talking loudly and waiting for their food.

Think, these guys….

Social-Media-and-blogging-lessons-from-kevin-smith-movies_Thill-Logistics_-carrieatthill_jay-and-silent-bob (1)

…only not as clean cut and wholesome.

I ignore whatever they saying, grab my horsemeat tacos and sit down.

Skinny artist dude (let’s call him Jay for clarity’s sake) starts rambling on about his “rapping.”

Cue the tatted up asian guy (we’ll call him Jet) that I hadn’t noticed sitting a couple tables over to my right.

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“You rap?? Lemme hear something.”

This was not a request, btw.

Jay goes from Grungy Artist Guy to YoYoYo Thug Life in .76 seconds and pimp walks over to Lee and proceeds to spend the next 20 seconds spitting out….something…faster than I knew was possible. I have no idea if any of it was English. If you put a gun to my head I couldn’t repeat a single word of what he said.

Jay gets done and now Jay and Jet are just staring at each other. Neither says a word. Then Jay turns around and pimp walks back over to Bob.

I’m just sitting there….”W..T..F..just happened?”

Jay and Bob then leave. Jet’s buddy, tattooed Asian dude #2 (Lee) comes over and sits down. They begin talking. While I’m not actively eavesdropping, they’re not being quiet and they’re sitting less than 10 feet from me. It becomes very obvious, very quickly, that Jet and Lee are gang members. I hear things like “flying the colors”, “prospects”, “he had his knucks with him” and “somebody’s trying to put something on me and that sh*t ain’t gonna fly”.

Awesome.

Then I hear Jet say “Ah sh*t, check this out.”

Lee looks over and snickers. I glance over and see two white guys and a black guy (Ashton, Justin and Will) come through the door.

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Now Jet, Lee, Ashton, Justin and Will are all just kind of eyeing each other.

*head down, eating tacos*

So Ashton heads up to the register to order some food and Justin and Will decide to sit down. Two tables to my left.

Jet and Lee are two tables to my right and Justin and Will are two tables to my left. Jet and Lee are openly snickering.

This. Is. Just. Splendid.

*ducks lower, continues eating tacos*

Ashton turns around and sees where Justin and Will are sitting, looks at Jet and Lee and then loudly says to Justin and Will, “Go sit over there” and points across the restaurant. They get up and move.

Jet and Lee now loudly begin discussing various prospects, fights and other totally awesome gang stuff.

*not even tasting the tacos at this point*

Neither of these two groups of guys is looking directly at each other at this point, but they’re still eyeing each other. I’m wondering if the Taco Bell tables will stop a bullet when flipped up on their side.

Finally I finish my tacos and Haul Ass. Jet and Lee are still talking loudly and seem very pleased with themselves as I calmly run out the door.

Now, what’s the point of all this? There isn’t one. It was just the most bizarre 15 minute lunch I’ve ever had and I felt the need to share. You can thank me later.

10 thoughts on “A Series of Bizarre Events…..aka My Lunch with Gangsters

  1. What???? BC, I am disappointed in you! You had the perfect opportunity to walk up to both Jet and Lee and avenge the humiliation of Jay’s incoherent gibberish.

    You’re white and Irish which qualifies you to rap like a mofo, e.g. House of Pain.

    “I’m comin’ to get ya! I’m comin’ to get ya! Spittin’ out lyrics, hommie I’ll wet ya!”

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